Dark and Scary Times Ahead

The past two Halloween seasons, Alex has complained incessantly that our decorations weren't spooky enough.

I like my decorations. I've had a theme of scarecrows and pumpkins, and created a nice, happy Halloween setting. One that is appropriate at a house with small children. Which is what we are.

Or what we were, I'm sadly realizing.

Last year, we added this ghost.

He has a bit of a spooky face, but I still thought he was close enough to the cute and cuddly Casper variety. He flies in the breeze between two trees, and the first two weeks we had him, he would move back and forth on his string and make some ghostly sounds. That feature didn't last long, but I still put him up since he looks so good.

When it comes to decorating, Alex is my outside guy. Ryan tends to prefer the inside decorations, and he was very sad that our Halloween village didn't come out this year (our inside decorations were kept extremely sparse due to the home improvements).

Alex was also sad. Now that he is a big and strong eight year old, he needs to have scary decorations that show the world how big and strong and not scared of scary things he is.

With two sad kids, I was determined to at least make one of my children happy with our Halloween decor. I asked Alex what kinds of decorations he wanted. I was told more scary things, like witches, and vampires, and ghosts and skeletons.

One day, I came home with these three great scarecrows - a ghost, a vampire, and a witch. Scary people + scarecrow = something for everyone.

I couldn't wait to show Alex.

 He took one look at them, and then gave me an "Are you CRAZY??" kind of look.

"These aren't scary," he explained.

"They are SMILING."

So I tried again. I bought some tombstones at Target. They had glittery sayings on them like, RIP, Out To Lunch, and I'll Be Back.

Alex did not approve of the bling. Turns out they were made of such cheap, lightweight styrofoam that they've blown away, so he won't have to worry about them coming out again next year.

I made one last attempt, and picked up this skeleton. He was definitely scary. I was even freaked out by him. Surely Alex will be impressed with the skeleton.

Um, no. 

Because he, like the scarecrows, is SMILING.

At this point I gave up. And we spent the rest of October with a moaning and deep sighing Alex every time our car pulled up in the front and he saw the smiling decorations.

Tuesday morning, I had to pick up bagels for work. I somehow found myself at the Panera located near Target, and when I looked at my clock, it was 7:58 a.m. About a dozen folks hovered by the doors, and I soon realized they were waiting for the Day After Halloween sales to begin.

Fifteen minutes later, I was the "proud" owner of four very spooky and scary Halloween decorations.

No one is smiling.

Everyone is dead and scary looking.

And finally, Alex approves.